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| For now, i'm @ validmessages.wordpress.com. 
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'you do not understand. how much i want to save myself, how much i need to save myself. i was crying because i didn't love me, i couldn't love me, and no one else would ever either.'
-from this blog I just chanced upon.
I think too much, and I feel too much. These days have been a mixture of + and - (if you get what I really mean). I feel dreamy, but I know my emotions are alive, missing the people whom I pour my heart out to and who probably really love me. I'm sorry for the word 'probably'.....but these days have been so quiet it's terrible. Are you guys still there?
I hope I'll get thru attachment quickly and well. To those who're still reading, I hope you have a happy march.
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I really should be sleeping now, but this just had to come out.
Ever felt that things are going way too fast, so fast that it's just swallowing you without even giving you that tiny chance to mend things? To change things even if you had that touch of magic?
I've been struggling to find meaning and faith during the past month it's so hard sometimes I just feel like waving the white flag. Time after time it's like an arrow that keeps coming to pierce repeatedly, only satisfied to see the leftover rotten bit of me. But nonetheless there ARE things that keep me going. The people, their kind words, their depth of understanding, their willingness to go thru this with me. I don't think anyone can REALLY go thru something with someone unless he/she's been thr before, otherwise it's impossible. But I thank God, for their presence in my life..
I'm beginning to see Life as this weird cycle. This cycle of falling, feeling your way around like in the utmost dark, and then mustering enough strength to get back up and move on. Time and time again it happens. Sometimes you're alone, sometimes you're not. But often than not you are. Only you alone. And then it's up to you, whether or not you take that step of faith. That step which leads you to believe that thr's something in you, something stronger, something given to you from above. A gift of love, unconditional love.
Will you take it? But how long can you hold it for?
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NEED. A. HUG.
School feels so sucky now, but I'm sure we'll get thru it, won't we? My emotions are everywhere up and down I can't get a hold on them. And deep down I feel as if I'm gna get sucked into that black hole whr I can get never get back up again. Tell me I can do this? ):
I wish I could see 'my fav children' right now, they're really my happy pills.
Will be back.
I need strength.
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| I just fucking screamed at my parents cus they were and ARE being total asswipes, the most immature kids in the block where they can't give way to each other but JUST HAVE TO shoot each other with sacarstic and hurtful remarks. WHEN WILL THEY EVER GROW UP. Fffffffffuck.
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