Currently Where We Are By Westlife Shadows see related

2009, 2010.

I'M BACK.

Listening to Westlife while blogging this how very cheesy I know....but hey Westlife's brilliant I used to love them when I was young! \m/ Okay so I haven't blogged in a long while I know. You could say I slowly died inside and I could not even begin to describe how I felt. Day in and day out, it's as if the Andrea you knew was crumbling under paranoia, alone.

But I was wrong. 2009 I would say, was wasted. Ask me what period of my life I regret and 2009 would no undoubtedly be the answer. It was only about me. Me and no one else. It was stupid. Lessons that I've learnt in 2009 have opened my eyes for sure, and only those fragments of the year will be kept close to my heart. Everything else that happened...I wish for the sea to wash them all away, if it's possible. But I will not fret, cus if not for those there wouldn't be any wake-up call for me. One of which that shows me the people who were there for me, the people whom I've taken granted for, the people who still love me despite what I've done, the people who really care. It may not be much to ya'll, but it's the little things that count and I thank you, from the very bottom of my heart. Late, but hopefully ya'll can feel this like how I do.

Currently Elephants...Teeth Sinking Into Heart By Rachael Yamagata Elephants see related

Like you and I, they must have some temper

Sorry about the delay. My brother had my laptop and certain text functions were gone when I used google chrome & firefox. Funny huh.

I can't really describe how I feel now...a mixture of guilt, overlapped with anger and an urge to just give all this up. But how do I? They're my family...I hate the way they're so unappreciative towards one another, how they judge one another just from this stupid situation, how he says with much conviction and regret that he was born as his son, how he complains like a pussy because he doesn't take action at all, and most of all, how he asks my mum 'how do you even tolerate a person like him? why did you even marry him?' to which my mother cruelly answered 'how did I know? he changed.' and then proceeds to justify her replies and both of them so in union, as if nothing else mattered but their ignorant opinions. 'If you had one thing to change, what would you do?' to which she replied with much conviction 'I wouldn't get married.'. If I had a broad forehead and it could be written on, it would be in captial letters 'YOU'RE A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT.'. Never, will I say that in future. Say that I regret getting married. Regret having kids. I can't stand how much regret there is in her life, and for once I agree with him, that she never plans. Or mayb she does, but it all screws up in the end. And I dare say that even if the 'screw ups' include God's plans for her, she regrets it. All of it. And you, stop being so fucking immature @ 22. You=talk and talk and talk=no action. All bull, ALL OF IT. I don't see how you shld get respect when you don't even EARN it. And if you must know, there will be NONE of it from me to you. Just you watch.

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To the readers, sorry for the angst it certainly wasn't directed at ya'll. School has been relatively slack but I keep giving myself prep talks and I need to because I know myself so well. When the fatigue courses thru my veins it's no class=skip lesson and no revision=mountain of work when exam approaches. Am so glad I'll be out and running on tues! And this reminds me of May & Afina, who have absolutely brightened up my school life and I'm so thankful for their presence.

A sudden lost for words.

Rachael Yamagata + John Mayer is all I need. Thank God for such wonderful singers.

I'll be back.